So basically I just realized when speaking to my sister today that I haven’t updated you on my health and fitness journey. I really wish I could say, “oh you know, I’ve been so busy killing it with my eating and working out…” but, that’s definitely not the case. I’m in a funk you guys.
I’m in a self induced funk… and it stinks.
The dumbest part of this whole “funk” is it’s self induced because I definitely know how to get out of the “funk.” I’ve been trying to juggle sending the kids back to school, the house, blog, family time, etc. and I’m really struggling. What’s crazy to me is when I eat right and workout everything else falls in to place.
I notice that when I drink the gallon of water that I’m supposed to I don’t feel sluggish. Aside from having to use the restroom non-stop drinking water really seems to help with my headaches. I think I’m coming to terms with the reality that nothing is going to change unless I make the choice. I wish I were one of those people that never had to ever worry about my weight. The truth is I don’t remember a time when I didn’t worry about my appearance.
This morning Lys asked me if she could wear makeup… I said absolutely not. She’s 8. We compromised and I said yes to lipgloss. That seemed to make her happy for the time being.
I need to change me so I can be a better mom to my girls (all my children really). It’s hard to really convey what I mean here… I am so much more than a number on a scale. That scale is just a measurement of loss and gain period. It doesn’t have feelings and it doesn’t know the whole story. I know my story. It’s insane to me that I let that little box that sits by the shower determine my “worth.”
Honestly, I really need to start practicing holding myself to a standard of grace and actually believe it.
I need to start appreciating the efforts I make toward bettering myself no matter how great or small they are. Imperfect progress is one of the hardest challenges for me. The funny thing is no matter how you look at it imperfect progress is still heading in the right direction.
I will post an October 1 report of where I stand in September. Accountability is good. I tell you what it’s truly exhausting being hard on myself. I just want to feel proud of me. It’s real hard to do when your jeans are so tight you can’t breathe. Until next time.