The Mom Guilt is Real

My sister just sent me a direct message on Instagram that read,

“Sure I could parent without any screen time. I could also churn my own butter. Let’s not go crazy here.” Undercover Mama

I laughed so hard that I had to explain to my kids what I had just read… like laughed obnoxiously, ha. The kids don’t get unlimited screen time, it’s just maybe they should get less.

Can I be honest with you? Some days the mom guilt is so real it hurts… Like, did we really just watch My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding?! …Oh I know, I’d be judging me too we couldn’t look away. ha. What an interesting show. I’ve never seen it before.

My husband is working late tonight and I have absolutely nothing on our agenda today. I just haven’t been feeling good and relaxing with my babies is my number one priority today. I was completely ok with this until I sat down and logged in to my Facebook page and saw everything everyone else was up to today… man, the mom guilt is real.

School is starting in just under two weeks and we have a lot of random things to do like teacher meet and greets, orientations and school shopping. I’m just really enjoying the slow, steady pace of these lazy summer days that are beginning to wind down. Right now I’m actually enjoying the laughter of my kids that are watching Duck Tales and the snuggles of my 2 almost 3 year old baby boy. They are all as content as can be and you know what, I’m content too…

So why exactly do I let social media bother me? That’s a really great question. Most days I can shrug it off and completely understand that everyone deserves an awesome summer and they definitely deserve to spend time with their kids making memories. I think it just breeds insecurity; like we should be doing more. We should be making the most of our summer break. As if we aren’t?

It’s complicated.

But, honestly I don’t think it has to be complicated.

Right now my 6 year is clammoring on and on playing with her Barbies… Something about becoming a mom and having babies, etc? My two year old is playing with his dinosaur and alligator in the kitchen sink because his alligator wanted to go swimming. Who am I to deny him that right ha! He was so insistent. My oldest two are currently googling how to make homemade icing. I think we might be making a cake. Oh scratch that we definitely MADE a cake. And by we I mean they, they made a cake. My 4 kids worked together and didn’t fight and made a cake. How awesome are they? Look how proud they are!

While children love routine and doing things I think it’s really important to understand that our children really love us… even when we think we’re failing we are enough. Spending time with mommy (and/or daddy) and creating quality memories matter. While today may have looked like a giant mom flop because we didn’t do anything – yet again – my children did everything! They played nicely together, they chose movies and made compromises and they baked a cake together whhhhaaaat?!

I guess what I’m trying to say is our kids don’t need to be entertained 24×7. They don’t need to have a jam packed schedule to have an awesome summer. I know one day when my kids look back to their childhood they will remember lazy summer days with mom. Summer days by the pool, coloring on the deck while blasting country music, singing at the top of our lungs (some of us anyways… Addy – not naming any names), getting caught up in the rain, making maps and hunting for treasure in the backyard. We can’t forget looking for bugs after dark by flashlight. They will also think back to the time we spent relaxing, cuddling, watching too much tv and being allowed to play more xbox than I care to admit. Most of all they are going to remember mom being there making the memories with them. All this to say, you aren’t failing momma. Give yourself some grace. These are the days all too soon we will look back on… Our kiddos just need us. We are enough.

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  • Reply
    August 23, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    Amazing post Amanda.
    Mom guilt is really real

    • Reply
      September 8, 2017 at 9:23 am

      ugh isn’t it ever… I try real hard to remember that comparison is the thief of joy. Thanks for sharing with me Terri.

  • Reply
    August 24, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Mom guilt is VERY real in this household! In so many many ways!!

    • Reply
      September 8, 2017 at 9:22 am

      I think it’s always good to remember quality time and time spent together no matter what the task is time well spent. Sometimes though that mom guilt bug really stinks. I’ve been hearing it more and more from my friends and family.

  • Reply
    Kimberly McGraw
    September 5, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    Amanda, this is spot on!! Our summer was just like yours and I loved how much better we all got on with one another! I actually feel like this summer was our best yet!

    • Reply
      September 8, 2017 at 9:21 am

      Hi Kimberly! I’m so happy that we weren’t alone in our low key summer! I love the quiet, slow days and the memories made at home. Thank you so much for sharing with me. 🙂

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