Mom Guilt Is Annoying
I have spent A LOT of time at the dentist lately. My girls have had to get a good amount of dental work done. That’s so hard to admit. It’s not that I’m prideful it’s just how have I failed them “that” bad? That’s the thoughts that were going through my mind at my daughter’s most recent dental appointment when the hygienist walked in the room and asked if I was ok. The truth is I wasn’t. I was sad… mom guilt is annoying.
As the dentist worked on my daughter I was overwhelmed with so many different and really let’s be honest difficult emotions. The moment that sweet hygienist pulled me out of the room couldn’t have been more timely. See, I never show any sign of emotion about sadness or frustration when it comes to bringing my children to the dentist… to my children. My husband is a whole different story.
The hygienist snapped me out of my “funk” in one sentence – “I’m a hygienist and my 9 year old son has a cavity each and every time he comes in for an appointment, it’ happens to us all.” Dr S nodded in agreement. Wow, ok message received. The lady went on to say, I have my son brush his teeth and show me and then make him brush his teeth again… “You are not alone.”
A 4 Word Game Changer – YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You know cavities in and of itself aren’t the end of the world. I definitely understand that. To me though when I allow myself to go “there” it feels like cavities equate to my child not being clean. That’s definitely not the case. They shower and brush their teeth 2 times a day (for the most part) and really don’t drink soda or juice unless we are out to lunch/dinner. It just so happens they are prone to cavities. You betcha I’m going to be on them to make sure they are brushing/flossing well from here on out…
It feels like I’ve failed them… <—That’s a LIE! That’s NOT a truth.
Can I just offer this little bit of encouragement: when we experience mom guilt it’s because we care. If we didn’t care about our children, we wouldn’t experience mom guilt. Let me say that again, because we care about our children we want to ensure that they are well taken care of and that their needs are met.
Literally as I was just sitting here writing I received a call from the dentist office. The girls last appointment is on Thursday (yay!). Within the last 6 months of on and off dental work I have beat myself up for not having double, triple checked my children’s teeth brushing. I have felt my share of embarrassment as I scheduled one appointment after the next for my children. Mom guilt makes me feel like I have failed and it’s just not the truth. The fact of the matter is, I’ve taken my children to the dentist because I CARE. My husband and I have spent a great deal of money on our children’s teeth because WE CARE. If we didn’t care we wouldn’t have brought our children to the dentist.
We have NOT failed anyone especially our children. Take a deep breath, breathe in grace. Exhale GRACE. We have NOT failed our children.
When that hygienist pulled me out of my daughter’s appointment her words were timely. Someone out there needs to be pulled aside and whispered words of encouragement. Here’s my encouragement to you:
Mom guilt is a lie, we feel it because we care. You are NOT alone someone out there is currently going through or has gone through what you are going through. When we believe the lies that we are not good enough or that we are failing as a mom we are giving those lies power. Squash the negative talk and refocus. We are all works in progress.