Can I Please Just Be Real?
I have to regularly remind myself, the opinions of others are just opinions. This morning I woke up caring a whole lot about the opinions of others… The opinions I do not even know 100% that other people believe about me. That sounds insane writing that and even sillier reading it back.
The word opinion by definition is, “a view or judgement about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. An estimation of the quality or worth of someone or something” (dictionary.com). It is not founded on anything but another persons view of a given individual or subject matter.
Quickly I remembered a quote that I had read the day before and was able to begin to put things in to perspective. Rachel Hollis in her book, “Girl Wash Your Face” (<-affiliate link) offers this bit of advice:
“Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.”
Honestly I read that line over no less than 5 times before I finally grasped the meaning behind the actual statement. Immediately I felt defensive – of course how other people see me is my business… I am me! But then I read that statement again and had a lightbulb moment. Someone else’s opinion of me is NONE of my business because it’s just that, SOMEONE else’s opinion.
Placing value on the opinion(s) of another individual about ME is just plain crazy. The Bible in Proverbs 18:2 (ESV) speaks of this, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”
Each and EVERY one of us has our own story… People often times form an opinion based on whatever small little snippets they piece together. These snippets come from social media, simply not knowing and assuming or perhaps trying to interpret another person’s motives.Stop second guessing or giving other people the power to make you question who you are.
I have honestly spent so much time wondering what “so in so” thinks of me that it is almost embarrassing. Maybe you can relate? It’s absolutely exhausting. In one breath it’s like, “if you only knew me, if you only knew my heart…” But usually when I go “there” I get myself so upset “how do you not love me?” That’s really a sad thought.
The Opinions of Others Are JUST That… Opinions.
The hardest part of the “opinion game” is trying to understand where people are coming from. The truth is we will never truly understand how people think or feel about us. This is why it is important to stop worrying about the opinion(s) of other’s. We need to stop trying to measure up to the unwritten rules on how we aught to be. Our worth is found in God alone, not in the opinion of others.
Galatians 1:10 (NIV) “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
The Lie’s People Have Spoken OVER Me
You are NOT Good Enough.
You are NOT Worthy Enough.
You are NOT Smart Enough.
You are NOT Pretty Enough.
You are NOT Deserving Enough
You do NOT Fit In.
You are Hard to Love.
Perhaps there’s someone in your personal life that keeps you second guessing whether or not you are “enough”. If it were possible for me to put my hands on your cheeks and speak directly to you, I’d say stop! I know there have been times in my life when I wish I had someone that would speak against these lies and just straight up tell me, “Amanda, your worth is found in God and Him alone. The opinions that other people have of you do not matter.” You, my friend are enough.
I’m OK With Who I Am: I am Enough
The people pleaser and over-achiever in me wants to have everyone out there love me. It’s particularly challenging because this is an impossible standard to hold myself to. Every-single-day I worry about whether or not I am good enough. I struggle within my own personal life to know whether or not I even measure up to my own standards (let alone standards of other people). Only now am I beginning to grasp the idea that it’s virtually impossible to begin to understand what other people think of me.
This has been a really big work of “heart” for me. I didn’t wake up to everything being magically “alright in my world.” Every single day I have to shut the voices down in my head that say that I am not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, etc. It’s been such a slow, gradual process. Praise God that even when I am a mess God says I am enough. I am ok with who am I.
What I Have Learned
Your self worth is not based on what other’s think or speak of you. Self worth is not a product of the approval or disapproval of others. Everyone has their own unique story. We’ve all had our own, unique set of ups and downs, twists and turns in our life.
I’ve come to realize, people only know small snippets of our story that more times than not they have pieced together. People place a great amount of value on the content or information provided on social media platforms to form their opinion on friends, loved ones or even personal strangers. This is a dangerous practice. For many social media is their highlight reel.
The convenience of social media oftentimes has trumped picking up the phone and simply asking, a friend or loved one “how are you?” Social media has proven to be both a blessing and a curse in this very respect. It is not simply enough to turn to various social media platforms to get information about other people. Stop forming your opinion of people based on what you do or do not see on social media. Pick up the phone and call your friend or loved one. Things aren’t always as they appear. If God places someone on your heart don’t avoid that nudging.